My first 30-day challenge has been over for just about two days now. However, my daily routine has not changed. For all intents and purposes, I’m continuing on with the challenge. As you can see to the top right of this blog (as of 6-6-13) I’m keeping it going with another 30-day challenge. This time I’m on my own. There won’t be any coach and there won’t be any other people in the same Paleo boat as me. It’s not scary at all…but it is rather quiet. I don’t know why it seems quiet, but it does.
Do you know what’s not quiet? Other people’s opinions about me taking on a Paleo diet challenge, or for that matter, my approach to getting healthy. I’m lucky. For the most part people have been amazingly supportive. Friends and acquaintances have generally been waiving their banners of “GO MARK!” along my virtual route towards good health. I know some people have been worried, quietly, behind closed doors about my somewhat rapid weight gain and my inability to get it off in the last two-and-a-half years. They haven’t known what to say to me or they worried I’m going to get upset and hurt my feelings. At least for me, this is untrue. If you care about me, say something. Don’t pretend you don’t see the elephant in the room (oh, maybe not a good weight loss analogy) But again, that’s me.
Although I welcome loving encouragement towards health, I don’t give any energy to those who want to criticize and judge me. I learned some time ago that people’s judgements and criticisms have nothing to do with me. Their ideas, concepts, and view of the situation are all based on their experiences and how they see the world. It’s their past and their interpretation of that past which moves them to making a judgement or criticism in the present–towards me or anyone else in their life. I don’t own any part of that. I’ve been a longtime believer of what other people think of me is none of my damn business!
I would dare to say that many people are similar to me when it comes to support. I don’t require the people in my life to set off fireworks and hire a marching band for every accomplishment I make along the way, but I do need to be noticed. I do need to know that someone is paying attention and they care enough to say “good job” once in a while. It gets down to being validated; we all need it in some complicity. What I don’t need is other people’s own self-doubt and insecurities wrapped up in a trojan horse named concern. In other words, don’t come to me with concerns for my wellbeing when in actuality you are just projecting your own fears and anxiety. We all know people like that.
It’s clear when someone who is really concerned for you expresses their feelings. You feel good and uplifted. You gain strength and you feel supported. Their words aren’t laced with critical euphemisms. Their comments are usually reinforcing their commitment to you. Sometimes the most supportive sentence that packs the most positive effect is a simple “I love you.”